oh god i tried to explain i’d’ve and y’all’d’ve to a friend who is a korean exchange student and she just kind of stared at me in horror for a minute lmao
y’all’d’ve is a triple contraction, which breaking it down is “you all would have”
“you + all” -> “y’all”
"you + would" -> "you’d"
" you + have" -> "you’ve"
im sorry people learning english
me when buying something over $10: do i need this? do i need any material objects? will this matter when i face the great abyss?
Something I realised, after having to help many international tourists count out their change, is that American coins don’t actually have the number value on them??? Like no wonder all these poor tourists are so confused
it just fucking says one “dime”
what the fuck is a dime
how much is it worth
whose idea was this
oh my god i never even realized that what the hell we all just sort of know what they’re worth through some sixth sense bullshit
FACT OF THE DAY: the dc in washington dc originally stood for “da capital” but abraham lincoln thought it was unprofessional and changed it
Halloween cards at target. Some of these are a wee bit dirty!!
i was in the car with my mum today and she stopped reversing and looks at me and was like “is that a hickey ??? On ur neck ?????? did a boy do that to u ????????? i thought u’d be alone forever on ur laptop.” the hickey was a bruise from where i accidentally shot myself in the neck with a nerf dart while trying 2 recreate a scene in star trek. my life is so pathetic even mum wants me 2 get some
stop reblogging this
*sucks guys dick*
*dies of nut allergy*
did you know that proteins in brazil nuts can be transmitted sexually so if someone had an allergy and the guy had eaten brazil nuts then they could literally suck dick and die of a nut allergy
now I do
EVEN IF A GIRL IS EMOTIONAL BECAUSE SHES “ON HER PERIOD” DOESNT MEAN ITS A GOOD IDEA TO CALL HER OUT ON IT CAUSE LEMME TELL YOU WHEN IM OPENLY BLEEDING I HAVE ENOUGH RAGE AND APPETITE TO EAT MY WEIGHT IN CHOCOLATE AND I CAN PROBABLY EAT YOU TOO SO BACK THE FUCK UP
I like how this very slowly gets notes like everyone once in a while a girl gets her enemy and then come back and reblogs this
so i saw this photo of a harpy eagleand i thought “woah what a noble beast” so i searched for more photos and i just
even the babiesi mean
this goes with almost all predator birds
like look at this bearded vulture
such a majestic creature
but then it’s like
or this scretary bird like woah so beautiful
even good old bald eagle
like wow so regal
it just looks confused
LIFE LESSON: DON’T LOOK AT MAJESTIC BIRDS STRAIGHT ON.
WE DID THE MASH
*KICKS THROUGH YOUR DOOR*
WE DID THE MONSTER MASH
*BACKFLIPS INTO YOUR LIVING ROOM*
THE MONSTER MASH
*BREAKS ALL OF YOUR WINDOWS*
IT WAS A GRAVEYARD SMASH